A new beginning or the beginning of the end.

    The top picture was taken September 30th, the 2nd on the 23rd, and the bottom taken on October 2nd. In the first 2 I felt great, it was trough times, but I was working it out. I was excited to be moving in with Scott, it was like moving into a huge art project. It was a lot of fun until I didn't feel right. I had an enormous amount of fluid in my belly, made it hard to breathe, and for my heart to beat.
     I'm going to start this part of my blog on October 1st, I felt too miserable to drink, so I took my librium and sleeping pills and went to bed. It was just Payton and I that night, Scott didn't get off until 2am so he was going home. Right around 2am I woke suddenly knowing I was about to vomit. I did so with my eyes closed, because I could tell by the smell it was nothing but blood, more blood than I have ever seen in my life in person. I crawled into the shower, sitting in the cold rain to gather my wits. I was bleeding to death from the aortic veins that attach to the esophagus (Click here for more info), and I had to get to the hospital ASAP without letting Payton know anything was wrong. Based on what I had learned the last time this exact thing happened, I knew I had an hour before I would loose consciousness. Luckily Scott was just leaving work, and headed this way, and I went to the hospital.
     When I walked into the ER I recognized the lady, and she knew instantly that I was in a "pass GO" situation and had me in a wheel chair just in time before I fainted. I don't remember being in the ER, getting 2 IVs, or answering questions. I came to my senses at some point in the ICU. I had lost so much blood I was considered in critical condition. Soon I was taken for another EDG <~Click for Info
     Between the EDG and my blood tests it was determined that there was really nothing more they could do, my liver is shot, too much of it has died and it is no longer functioning. My only hope would be to get a liver transplant, or possibly a snowballs chance in hell that it would regenerate enough for me to thrive. The problem would always remain that if I were to fall, or get in a minor car accident, I would most certainly die very quickly. To put things in perspective, most people's platelet count is 150k - 250k, platelets are what make your blood clot, mine is in the 20Ks.
     So the conversation was had with doc after doc, we can't help you, but you are too sick to leave. I started taking selfies, and random pics to pass the time. I feel that some of the pics are not suitable for FB, so I am starting up my blog again so those who want to know, can follow me on this journey, be it a new beginning, or beginning of the end.